Monday, May 5, 2014

Transitioning back to the "real world"

As of mid April I have been stationary and working as a zip line guide!  Having an income is nice, but being committed to one place has been more difficult then I expected. The job is great and it is nice to be outside working with people. All of the guides are great guys and enjoy having fun, and my managers are amazing people. Yet I have found myself with moments of depression, feelings of being unsettled, and a strong desire to pick up and go. I found these feelings to be crazy as there is nothing for me to be depressed about and am in a great situation. I took the time to acknowledge these feelings and have figured out small changes to cause them to mellow.
One of the biggest challenges has been to meet people here.  It is very different when you are in a town verse on a climbing trip (or maybe just different for me). Figuring out how to become part of a town is difficult and I am looking at it as a new challenge/adventure. Where do you meet people in a small town mostly populated by tourists? There is not a climbing gym, but a large climbing community, which I need to tap into. I do work with a bunch of guys who climb and have started to get out after work. Small progress is being made and I am slowly becoming more comfortable. I realize becoming part of a community takes time and effort.
I still sleep in my car even though I now have a pop up trailer. I find myself tossing and turning, checking the clock every hour and finally getting up and sleeping in my car. I have yet to figure out what the mental reason behind that is.
Not climbing 5-6 days a week has also been difficult for my mental state.  Although a friend pointed out it is good to have a job and take forced rest days. However, I feel like i'm wasting time or will loose the progress I had made over the past year if I am not climbing as much.  Realistically that is probably not true, but does weight on my mind.
After recognizing these different aspects causing these negative feelings I have been focusing on the positives.
- I have been lucky to have the opportunity to work for a good friend.  His wife and family have been so welcoming making me feel apart of their family ultimately helping with my adjustment process.
- I am in a beautiful place in a location surrounded by a variety of climbing and hiking.
- I work with climbers and need to make an effort to take advantage and climb with them.
- Many friends from Colorado tend to come through the town I am in allowing me to have quality time with old friends.
- This experience has given me the drive to start thinking about my future and possible next steps, which I have been pushing off for the past 11 months.

In the end I will probably love my time here and probably be a little sad when I do eventually leave.  It is just a change, which I need to embrace and make a quality experience. Now that I have acknowledge the feelings I have had over the past month I feel progress is being made to welcome this change.